New low: just hacked my moms facebook
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize