it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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