Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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