yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
