i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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