The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
