So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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