This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
