Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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