omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
