Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
