I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
How's work?
Spinning.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
