We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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