I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
