Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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