i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
