He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
