we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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