I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize