Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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