I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
