I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have aggressive nipples.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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