ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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