you would pick up someone in the library
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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