the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
