i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
