She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
