'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
