a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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