I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
