But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
