I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
