Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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