Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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