South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
