tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Houston, we have a squirter
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
