I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
