i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
