hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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