I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
