im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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