I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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