..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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