hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
