addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize