so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
