you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
