You can't special order awesome
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
