At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
one two three fourrrrnication!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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