There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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