so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
