Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
