I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
