i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
