just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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