It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
