Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
