I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
