waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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