So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
