we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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