I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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