Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
