No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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