I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
