sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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