sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Who died my cat blue again?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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